Monday, September 13, 2010

How Do You Avoid the Drama?

Dear Readers,

I could use some advice.  I'm part of a group, and as you know, when you get a group of people together working for a similar cause, there can be drama.  While this group does work well together and has fun, we still deal with human behavior:  feelings get hurt, buttons get pushed, power is involved.

I'm making a conscious effort not to be involved in the drama.  That means I have to try really hard not to give knee-jerk reactions.  I try not to speculate.  I try not to have an opinion.  I try to keep it fun.

But I've gotta admit, that's really hard to do.  I'm human too, and it's really easy to get swept up in any drama that comes along--especially if work's been a little frustrating, or I'm not feeling like I'm achieving in other areas of my life.

Do you have any tips for keeping the drama out?  I'll take any advice--particularly advice on how I can orient my thinking and actions.  I can't change anyone else, but I can change me.  Unfortunately, it's going to take a lot of practice to make sure I behave the way I'd like to.

Thanks in advance!
Your pal,


  1. Can you specify the type of group/situation?

    One thing I like to keep in mind is that you never know anything about anybody else. You never know what they're thinking, how they're thinking, what they're feeling, etc. And everybody responds differently to a given situation. You're never gonna satisfy everybody, somebody's always going to feel like they're not heard or appreciated, somebody's always going to be pissed off, and somebody's always going to think everything's dandy.

    Since I'm a person who likes things to make sense, this is one of the big reasons I don't generally like people.

  2. Sadly, this is one of those posts that I'm not fond of--one that seeks info without giving info. I can't say much more about the group except that it's all adults, men and women, from all walks of life. Different types of personalities, which is where the drama comes into play.

    And that doesn't help....but your advice did. It's always good to keep in mind that somebody's always going to be pissed off, no matter what.

  3. i am in a group that frequently has rumors, stories, and cliques forming. It's really frustrating sometimes. I have learned not to believe any second or third hand story, and to connect with people who seem the most honest and genuine. And, most helpfully, I like the duck analogy. Ducks let things roll off their backs! Shelley