What's This Country Run On?

Dear Dunkin' Donuts,

Since I moved to the Boston area, I think I've been to Dunkin Donuts more often in the last six months than I have in the last 15 years.  No wonder you think the country runs on Dunkin'--Boston certainly does.

I've been really intrigued by Dunkin' Donuts since we moved here. There are so many of them--I'm within walking distance of at least two.  What also boggles my mind is that many stores seem pretty busy.  I don't get it--sure, breakfast, I can understand a rush.  I also understand people who need their coffee (I'm not one of those--the rumor I heard that the coffee tastes better the closer you get to Boston intrigues me, but not enough to test it out myself).  And if you're a franchise with a Baskin-Robbins, I can understand the evening customers.  But so busy all the time?  Really?

I'm no stranger to Dunkin's doughnuts, but as I started grabbing the occasional doughnut from one of your outlets, I find I want them more than I ever have before.  Did you put something in the water here to make me crave them so?  

Just curious.

Your pal, 

Jill

P.S. --If you're putting something in the water, could you put something in the Coolattas to make them taste better?  The strawberry one is so digustingly sweet.  It sounds refreshing on a hot day, but it's just....blech!  I've been burned twice now--no more Coolattas for me!


P.P.S.--Could you start supplying Congress with doughnuts?  While the country may run on Dunkin', Congress can't seem to get much of anything done.  A good chocolate stick might jump start them, don't you think?

How Do You Celebrate This?

Dear Readers,

Happy Hurricane Earl Day!  Today's the day Hurricane Earl is supposed to come up the East Coast and affect Massachusetts.  Should I be excited about this?

Today I had to drive the Boy to work, so we put on NPR for something to listen to.  Bob Oakes, our local NPR "Morning Edition" host, spent a fair amount of time talking about Hurricane Earl, and he started off one interview by saying, "It's Hurricane Earl Day."  Doesn't that sound like a holiday to you?

Even though I don't think we'll be much affected by the hurricane--we might get some rain and a bit of wind--but overall, Earl's not expected to do much damage.  Plus, it's expected to hit really early tomorrow morning, so if we sleep soundly, we may not even notice anything.

Still, it's our first hurricane experience, and that's kind of cool.  Coming from the Midwest, I don't understand too much about ocean living--true, Lake Michigan is a big lake, but the ocean is a totally different story.  It's fun to slowly acquire all this knowledge about how a different area of the country lives, and once again I'm amazed at how vast and varied our country can be.

It kind of makes me want to celebrate, but I'm not sure quite how.  A Hurricane cocktail is the obvious choice, though I'm not sure I really want to get that hammered today.  The only other thing that comes to mind is making a big hurricane-shaped plate of mashed potatoes.....maybe with a bit of gravy or butter as the eye of the storm.  What other kinds of hurricane fun could we have today?

Looking forward to your suggestions!
Your pal,
Jill

For the Geographically Challenged

Dear Readers,

Today's story was supposed to be one of triumph.  Instead, I got yet another smackdown from my new home.

I've lived in the Boston area for five months now.  In that time I've learned that if I have to go anywhere new, I have to study the map for an insane amount of time, print out directions, and then pray I follow them correctly.  Plus, I have to budget a good 15 minutes for getting lost, which I manage to do pretty much every time I go to a new destination.  If Google Maps says it'll take 14 minutes, it'll really take me 45.  Traffic, construction, crappy winding roads, lack of road signs....it's a far cry from the grid of Chicago that I lived with for 15 years.  The grid is fabulous--streets are straight, they're labelled, and addresses are on coordinates, so you know pretty much where you have to go based on the address number.  I don't know if it's budget cuts or stupidity, but here in the Boston area, if you're on a street, it's often not marked--the cross streets are, but what you're driving on right now--the one you took the wrong turn down--isn't.  It's an absolute pain in the neck.  Now you're lost, and you don't know where you got lost.  Plus, #17 on one street isn't parallel to #17 on the next street--that is, if you can find two parallel streets to begin with.

I'm not bitter.

Anyway, yesterday I went to Cherry Bomb Bakery in Brighton to redeem a cupcake voucher.  Google Maps said the bakery was nine minutes from my house, and as I looked on the map, I realized it was on the same street (albeit a fair hike) as a Trader Joe's, where I also needed to go.  I decided to go to Trader Joe's first, then all I had to do was drive down Washington Street until I got to the bakery.  No map required!

That sounded fine and dandy until I got to the section where Washington was one-way going the opposite direction.  I didn't see this quickly enough and was forced onto the Mass Turnpike ($1.25 toll).  Go figure.  Where would I end up?

I got off the turnpike at the Brighton exit, and was spit out onto Cambridge Street, I believe.  Of course, it took many blocks to figure this out, since the street wasn't marked.  Thankfully traffic was also slow-going, since it was Moving Day, and I, like an idiot, decided to go into college campus territory where there were nothing but moving vans, loaded pick-up trucks, and other assorted vehicles-stuffed-with-furniture on the road.

I eventually drove into an area that I recognized, and from my extensive map study, I was soon able to find where I needed to go.  I was happy to have found the bakery, but it really would've been nice to not have to go way out of my way (and pay a toll) to get there.

Oh, I know what you're saying:  Jill, just get a GPS!  To which I say:  Struggling writer.  Many days I feel that a GPS would be nice to have, but honestly, the little money I do make is slotted for other purposes, and a GPS is far down on my wish list.  I love reading maps, and I enjoy navigating, and the GPS would take that job away from me.  Besides, a GPS isn't perfect either.  It's good, but it's not the end all be all.

Hopefully I'll learn the geography of this area soon.  It's probably time to take more drives, get lost, and figure out how to get home.  Any of you have helpful hints?

Your directionally-challenged pal,
Jill

Fall into Blogging

Dear Readers,

Oh, good grief!  It's been over a month since I've posted anything.  Perhaps I took a nice summer vacation, you think?  Not really.  I did go to Long Island for a weekend of learning about WFTDA roller derby officiating, but a weekend in a roller hockey rink does not necessarily equal a true vacation.  I did have a really good bagel though, so that's something.  [Incidentally, Long Island reminded me a lot of Northwest Indiana--just with bagels and different accents.  It was a little disconcerting.]

Anyway, I have missed blogging, and I've been thinking about how to get back into it.  I obviously am having difficulty coming up with regular ideas for letters to others.  I'm no Charlie Pierce, who's been writing--at least for the 2 weeks I've subscribed to the Boston Globe--open letters to people.  That's for sure.

Instead, I think I'll go for a hybrid Charlie Pierce/Suzanne Beecher route.  Suzanne runs an e-mail book club, which I've belonged to for several years.  I don't always read the books, but I do read her columns at the beginning.  She's a delight to read, and I love the way her column is organized--just a simple note to us readers with some observation about life.

If I combine these two approaches, I hope that I'll be able to get back into the 5 days/week blogging routine.  I think the rest of my writing is suffering a little, since I don't make use of this space that's designed to help me practice my craft.  I'll try to make it as interesting as possible, and I hope you keep on reading (and maybe tell your friends).

Thanks for your patience!
Your pal,
Jill

Dear Landscapers Who've Been Next Door Most of the Day,

How much longer will you be out there?  It's been a good three hours of leaf blowing, mowing, hedging, trimming, and whatever else you need tools with loud mowers for.  The yards in this neighborhood are tiny--what can you possibly still be doing out there?  Can you get some muzzles for those contraptions?

Thanks!
Your pal,
Jill

Dear Anonymous --and by Anonymous, I mean the person who commented on my contact case letter,

I have to admit, I didn't quite understand what you meant by the 1-800-CONTACTS people sending you a really nice contact case.  Aren't all the free cases pretty much the same?  #5 plastic, two caps....the only difference I saw was some co-branding on the caps.  Granted, the ones that come with the contacts or with my saline are a touch nicer than the ones I get at the doctor's office, but beggars can't be choosers.

Then I reached into my stash of free contact cases and pulled out a new version from 1-800-CONTACTS. I don't know how to describe it, but it's really freakin' nice!  There's some sort of edge on the caps that prevents dirt from getting inside or moisture leaking out--whatever it is, it's sturdier than what I'm used to in a free case.  Color me impressed!

(and it doesn't even have a Wal-Mart ad on it)

So, I have to admit that you're right.  There is at least one really good type of contact case out there.  I almost hate to recycle it so soon, but these bad boys are only good for so long.  Still, I hope that that type of case trickles down to me at some point!

Thanks for pointing it out, Anonymous!

Your pal,
Jill

The Clock Keeps Ticking

Dear U.S. Census Bureau,

First off, LOVE the Census Bureau in a way that only a former librarian can!  You guys rock!

Secondly, I had a question about your population clocks.  When I dialed up your website yesterday to see what the world's population was, I was floored.  We're really up to 6.86 billion?  When did the population explosion happen?  My brain's still stuck in the 4 billions.  Who's having all the kids?

I did wonder if that clock only ever goes up.  Do you ever dial it down when disaster strikes?  Like, did you take off a couple hundred thousand to account for the victims of the Haiti earthquake?  Will you account for all the Baby Boomers when they die off--will that affect the U.S. population?  How about that Chinese one-child population?  Or the negative population growth in Europe?  Are the other parts of the world making up for this and keeping that clock rolling onward?

Let me know--I'm really curious about this.

Thanks for your time.
Your pal,
Jill

Blow on This!

Dear South African World Cup Organizing Committee,

First off, great job with the World Cup.  What a fun tournament to watch!  I enjoyed every minute of the ESPN coverage I tuned into!

I was wondering, do you have a list floating around of "Other Things You Can Do with a Vuvuzela?"  I'd like some suggestions on how to repurpose this item when not at a soccer (or football) match.  I mean, I could annoy the hell out of my husband by blowing it around the house, but I like him and don't see the need to upset him.

Any advice you could give would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Your pal,
Jill