Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Yo, Masshole!

Dear Short Female Masshole Driver in the Silver Saturn,

Listen.  When somebody's in front of you stopped at an intersection, waiting for traffic to clear in order to make a safe left turn, don't honk.  I know what I'm doing.

At the crazy intersection I was stuck at, most everybody coming towards me didn't put on their turn signal until right before they hit the intersection, so I had no idea whether or not it was safe for me to turn.  I didn't feel like getting in an accident today, so I wasn't turning until I deemed it safe enough.

Because you honked at me though, I made sure to cruise down the next portion of the street at Sunday Driving Speed.  Just to piss you off.

Then when we got to Rt. 2, you zipped by me and gave that little pissed off honk, squeezing yourself into the fast lane like you had a death wish.

Except that within two miles, you had to squeeze back into the right lane so that you could get onto the parking lot known as I-95.  Why you were in such a hurry to get into bumper-to-bumper traffic, I don't know.  Maybe next time you'll enjoy the ride a little more, since you're not getting anywhere anytime soon.

Your pal,

P.S.--I can take you.


  1. Oh, those PEOPLE! I always tell myself that karma will take care of them eventually, but karma would be so much more effective if it was instantaneous, don't you think?

  2. Ah, idiot drivers, a complaint near and dear to my heart. Want to talk Madison? For example, I call the Beltline "the Autobahn." Stoughton Rd/Hwy 51 is Autobahn II. And roundabouts? We got 'em--and no one knows how to use them.