Define 4-Star

Dear Raffaello Hotel Chicago,

The Boy and I recently had a lovely stay at your boutique establishment.  However, I'm not quite sure you're living up to your billing.  Your website states:

Boutique luxury means you count at the 4-star boutique Raffaello Hotel. Personalized service blends with modern technology and luxurious furnishings to create 4-star boutique service unlike other Chicago downtown hotels.

Let's take a look at the 4-star boutique service:

Comfortable bed?  Check!

Flat-screen TV?  Check!  (even came with a DVD player!)

Rainshower head?  Check!  (pretty awesome, too!)

The guest pays for Internet service?  Check!  (somehow, mid- and budget-priced hotels can provide free wi-fi, but anytime "luxury" or "boutique" gets tossed into the description, wi-fi service suddenly becomes an extra charge.  I don't get it.)

Mini-fridge?  Check!  (granted, it was a mini-bar too, but there was enough room for our own beverages)

Microwave?  Check!

Decent toiletries?  Check!  (OK, they were Gilchrist & Soames, which is a fine label, but not one I'd really consider to be in the "boutique luxury" category of hotels.  I like G&S though, so I'm not really complaining)

One-ply toilet paper?  Check!

WHOA!  Wait a minute!  As any woman can tell you, one-ply toilet paper is NOT luxurious.  Granted, sometimes it's not so bad, but when you're trying to pass yourselves off as being fancy, the least you can do is provide some two-ply.  After all, toilet paper is one of the few amenities that a guest is bound to use.  We didn't touch the DVD player or the microwave.  We did use toilet paper though, and it was a memorable experience--but not in the type of way you'd want us to have (or tell other people about).

Is two-ply that much more expensive?  Or that much harder on a plumbing system?  I might be able to understand if it is, but right now it seems like you're willing to trim corners on service.  And if you're willing to be cheap on toilet paper, what else are you willing to sacrifice?

Your pal,
Jill

Busy Eating, Back on Thursday

Dear Readers,

It's not that I haven't wanted to blog, it's that I don't think I can squeeze my stomach underneath a desk, or perch a laptop on my belly.

One of my favorite ads from the late 90's was an ad for McDonald's, saying, "Chicago's the City of Big Shoulders, and we didn't get those shoulders by pushing back from the table."  Boy, you could say that again!  I've done almost nothing except eat during this trip--and I'm not even getting close to hitting all the places I want to go to.  There have been big dinners, huge breakfasts (can you say bacon cheddar potato pancakes and cinnamon rolls from Ann Sather?), filling lunches.  Today is another lunch, another big dinner, and I've got to try to get to at least one cupcake place.

So, excuse me while I abstain from blogging for the next day or so....it's been an hour since I've eaten, and a hot pretzel is calling my name.

Your pal,
Jill

Postcard from the Air

Dear Readers,

The Boy and I are headed to Chicago today--it's a mix of business and pleasure.  The Boy has to give some presentations for work, so we decided to make a big weekend out of it.

So far, our big weekend mostly consists of eating and drinking.  We've got a fairly long list of our favorite establishments that we want to visit while we're there, and in the back of my mind, I have a few more that I'd like to fit in--you know, a snack here and there.  I'm vainly hoping that my stomach will digest everything really quickly so that I can fit the next course in.

When we get back next week, I'll have to find a running race or some sort of exercise challenge, just to give me an incentive to move and take off the pounds I fear I'll put on.  I can't even tell myself that walking around Chicago is going to stave off all the calories the city is going to serve me.  That's all right though--I'll just do the best I can and enjoy myself (just maybe not to the fullest this time).

Hope you have a good weekend!
Your pal,
Jill

Three Times the Credit

Dear Deb Walden, Executive Vice President, Customer Experience, Chase Card Services,

This week I received three (3) credit card offers from you--all on the same day!  I'm pre-approved for:

• The Slate card with Blueprint.  No annual fee.  It comes with a 0% APR through October 2011, and after that, 14.99% APR.  The Blueprint feature helps manage finances.
• The Chase Freedom card.  No annual fee.  It too comes with a 0% APR through October 2011, and after that, 14.99% APR.  Earn 5% cash back in some purchase categories, 1% cash in every other category.  Up to 10% back if you shop online at select merchants.  Plus, earn $50 cash after your first purchase.
• The Chase Freedom card.  No annual fee.  It too comes with a 0% APR through October 2011, and after that, 14.99% APR.  Earn 5% cash back in some purchase categories, 1% cash in every other category.  Plus, earn $100 cash after your first purchase.

Whoa!  Three cards!  Two of which are the same, but for some reason, one gives a slightly better cash bonus.  Do you know the damage I could do, if you actually gave me all three of  them?

I suppose you're telling me this is a sign of what's to come--apparently the economy is good enough that I'll be getting nothing but credit card offers for the foreseeable future.  Let me stop you short:  You might as well just take my name off your mailing list--I'm not looking for a new card right now.  

And if you're going to ignore my request, how about making a smarter system that sends different offers on different days?  Because this little incident?  Doesn't make me trust you.  At all.  And why would I want to have a credit card (or three) from a company I don't even remotely trust?

Your pal,

Jill

Another Example of when Online Isn't the Answer

Dear Alex, the REI clerk,

The other night the Boy and I were in your store shopping for a raincoat.  You did a nice job of explaining the two we were considering, and overall, you were fairly helpful.  Except for your spiel about shopping online.

If you didn't notice, it was raining that night.  We were there buying a raincoat.  You know, to wear immediately.  Listening to you go on about how we could just order what we wanted and have it shipped to the store didn't work--and was actually a turn-off.  After trekking out in the rain, why would I want to go back home, shop online (where you can't try anything on and see if it fits a tall Boy in the sleeves), and then go back to the store in five days (probably when the weather has cleared), to pick it up?  We need the coat now!

Isn't the first rule of selling to close the sale?  If you have a customer that's in the store and is intent on purchasing something right then and there, shouldn't you be more concerned that that customer's needs are met?  Why send him out of the store in hopes that he does, in fact, go shopping at your website?  Get your head out of your iPhone, make the sale, and get the cash in your drawer.

By the way, we took your advice and didn't get the yellow coat.  It turned out to be a little smaller all over.  The one you suggested seems like it will work nicely.

Thanks!

Your pal,
Jill

Build a Better Pyramid

Dear USDA,

You're one of my favorite government agencies.  Honestly!  In the "Who's your favorite government agency?" conversations I have with my friends (don't most Americans have those?), you are right at the top  of my list--all the data you collect, certain programs you have...most days I have incredible amounts of love for you.

However, I'm worried about the new food pyramid you're developing.  We as a nation have a problem with food--obviously.  Most of us are overweight or obese, and perhaps that has a little something to do with the guidelines you present.  In revamping the food pyramid, you have the opportunity to help us get back on track.  Half of weight loss is eating right, and your guidelines can really set the tone for helping us solve this problem.

But it really seems like the new food pyramid won't be impartial guidelines; it'll be guidelines set by various lobbies.  As reported in the Washington Post:

In public comments, the meat lobby has opposed strict warnings on sodium that could cast a negative light on lunch meats. The milk lobby has expressed concerns about warnings to cut back on added sugars, lest chocolate- and strawberry-flavored milks fall from favor. Several members of the Massachusetts congressional delegation also weighed in against added-sugar restrictions in defense of the cranberry.

It's really sad to know that money and business interests are going to have more say in determining what's good for us.  Perhaps if these manufacturers and industries were forced to make their products a little healthier, they wouldn't be so bad for us in the first place.  Perhaps we Americans need to have a less sweet palate.  How will we know what's right, if the government isn't being totally truthful with us?

At the end of September, Gerald S. Lesser died.  He may not have been a household name, but he certainly affected generations of children.  As a psychologist and chief advisor to "Sesame Street," he really thought about what children should learn, taking into consideration who the show was aimed at (namely, disadvantaged kids who wouldn't have resources to a lot of things, but would probably watch TV).  His team came up with brilliant ideas to get educational concepts across to children (read the obit--if you're the type who still gets a little teary because Jim Henson died way too soon, this is a fascinating read).

Most importantly, Lesser and his team tried to do what was best for the children.  They put a lot of thought into creating a great product that's really become an integral part of our culture.  You have the opportunity to do the same thing--developing guidelines for how we eat is incredibly important.  You're the government--you're supposed to set the proper standards, not standards dictated by whichever lobby's willing to pony up enough money.

Our country is in pretty bad shape, health-wise, and if we eat poorly now, that will just drain our resources later when it comes to having to pay health care costs for all the people who have weight-related issues.  Let's not go down that path--let's get a better start and make a better America.

Your pal,
Jill

Time Flies--Again

Dear Readers,

I hate how life has become "blink, and it's 11:00."  It's been pretty much a wasted Monday morning--I had a no show on an appointment; I started taking an online survey that ended up taking me over an hour (and I wasn't nearly finished with it); and now I'm a little frazzled, but I need to focus and meet a deadline.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a little bit better--and bloggier.  If you've got a second, I'd love to hear some of your "blink and it's 3 hours later" moments.  It'd be nice to know that I'm not the only one who has time management issues.

Your pal,
Jill

Just Tell Me!

Dear Readers,

It's kind of a busy day here--dealing with a few deadlines, which frankly is a nice situation.  I'm glad to have work, and I'd like to produce some decent articles today.

At some point, I also have to send some gentle reminders to clients or potential clients who seem to have fallen off the face of the earth.  One of the most frustrating aspects of this job is dealing with a sudden lack of communication.  Past clients who won't pay up.  Supposedly current clients, who, in the past, had weekly assignments and now no longer contact you.  Potential clients who outline an idea, and when you respond with your vision of that idea and your pay rate, never reply.  

Look, I'm in the business of rejection.  I'm used to not hearing back personally on plenty of proposals/gig applications (it's like looking for a job--you mostly don't hear back from anyone.  It's frustrating, but that's life).  But if we've worked together, and you no longer need my services, please tell me.  If I'm too expensive for your project, let me know.  If I'm one of a handful of people applying for your gig, and my idea doesn't suit your project, a "thanks, but no thanks" would be nice.  

Honestly, earlier this year, I spent over a day working on an involved proposal for what would've been a neat project.  I had a question for the hiring person, and he responded right away, with a mention that he was looking forward to my application.  I sent it in and got nothing--no, "Hey, I got your application."  No, "Hey, thanks, but we're going with other people."  I don't know if hundreds of people applied for this gig, but it really felt like all the work I put into it went right down the drain.

Another gig I was shortlisted for involved another trial.  I spent several hours putting together a package of work, and while I did get a confirmation of receipt of the trial, I never heard back.  At that stage in the game, when you're only getting full-on proposals from a couple of people, have the courtesy to at least tell them they didn't get the job.  They're spending several unpaid hours trying to get this gig.  The rejection isn't the hard bit--it's the wondering if you're going to get hired.  Do you bother to set time aside in case you get the job?  Or do you keep throwing out a lot of feelers and then just deal with it when everything explodes at once and you have more work than you can really handle?

Am I being overly fussy?  Is there a way I can have better communication without being totally annoying to the person on the other end?

Your pal,

Jill