For the Record

Dear Khloe Kardashian Odom,

Hey, I didn't get the memo that you were no longer on the Pill.  Was it in a press release?  Or was this just casual conversation in a highly selective interview setting?

If it's the former, please add me to your mailing list.  As a writer, I'm constantly on the lookout for new stories ideas and leads, and my goodness, this was so earth-shattering that I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you share that information with the rest of the world!

Please reach me at pa2jilljaracz @ yahoo . com and keep me up to date with all the latest from Khloe!  Or tweet me @jilljaracz!  Or whatever!

Thanks!!!
Your pal,
Jill

P.S.--You have your own website and blog too???  Where the hell have I been?

P.P.S.--What is it that you do again?

Get Out the Chisel and the Pom-Pons

Dear Jim Dean, Democracy for America,

Thanks for your recent e-mail that contained the subject line "Roland Burris: Senate Healthcare Hero." It's one of the few Democracy for America e-mails I actually read. (you folks send a lot of e-mail, did you know?)

I was just curious--do you know if Sen. Burris plans to include "Senate Healthcare Hero" on his tombstone?  Or is it up to me to keep cheering him on so that he can officially claim that title?

Also, are there other Senate Healthcare Heroes we can cheer on in the Senate's quest to actually accomplish something?  What are their colors?  I'll make some pom-pons, and the two of us can recruit a Senate Cheering Squad and go to Capitol Hill.  I've even got some cheers ready to go!  What do you think of these?

2-4-6-8
Who thinks the public option's great?
Goooooo Senators!

----

We say, "No!" You say "More!"
No!
More!
No!
More!
We say, "Donut!" You say "Hole!"
Donut!
Hole!
Donut!
Hole!
No!
More!
Donut!
Hole!

----

H-E-A-L-T-H-Y
You ain't got no alibi
You healthy, yeah yeah, you healthy
(Health care rocks!)

And that's just the beginning!  Come on, Jim!  Help me cheer on the Senators in this historic quest to bring health care to everyone in America.  Together we can do it!  Are you willing to accept the challenge?

Your pal,
Jill

[sent via e-mail through the DFA's website]

Oh No, You Wouldn't!

Dear President Obama,

I saw in the Chicago Tribune today that George Ryan's crew is asking you to release him from jail.  I'm begging you to ignore these pleas and make him finish out his sentence.

Look, I understand he's ill.  I get that his wife is sick.  But is that any reason to commute a sentence?  Would you do that for just any random criminal?  Just because George Ryan served as the governor of Illinois shouldn't grant him any special treatment--especially when he used his office as a means to gain an advantage in election fundraising....and those actions led to the the horrific deaths of the six Willis children.

Sure, George Ryan is a decent guy.  Dude attended my church whenever he was in Chicago on a Sunday. But even nice guys do dumb, stupid, awful things that are against the law, and our judicial system is set up to enforce that.  I'm sure our prisons are stocked with people that were fine, upstanding citizens until Oops!  Killed a guy!  or Oops!  Bilked people out of billions of dollars!  Are their pleas for clemency seriously considered?  If they were, would we have overcrowded prisons?

As a voter (which technically makes me one of your bosses), I kindly request that you nip these Ryan clemency requests in the bud and get back to getting this country changed.

Many thanks.
Your pal,
Jill

[sent via e-mail through whitehouse.gov]

Keep Your Pants On!

Dear U.S. Snowboarders Nick Baumgartner and Nate Holland,

You're so cute!  Going on about the integrity of your sport being compromised by tighter pants!

Let's get a couple of things straight though:

• Snowboard Cross is not the "red-headed stepchild of snowboarding."  It's infinitely cooler to watch than the half-pipe.  Yeah, it's something when a boarder does flips in the half-pipe, but oh, it's a flip to the right!  Now a spin to the left!  All set to music!  The Snowboard Cross is speed and jumps and competing against people at the same time.  It's exciting!
• In twenty years (if not sooner), Snowboard Cross racers will be trying anything to shave hundredths of a second off their time.  Tighter suits are inevitable.
• Snowboarding has integrity?  What integrity?  Oh.  Do you mean you want to "keep it real"?  Snowboard Crossers with tight pants are keeping it real.  They're keeping it real fast.

Just relax and let the sport go through its natural progression.  It's going to, no matter what you think.

Citius, altius, fortius!

Your pal,

Jill

My Home Is Better Because of You

Dear Nancy Wall Hopkins, Deputy Editor, Food and Entertaining, Better Homes & Gardens,

This past August, I discovered that my mother had started another subscription to BHG for me.  Upon receipt of my first issue, I groaned.  She'd done this before a couple of years ago, and since I had neither home nor garden (a rental apartment with no outside living space just isn't the same), I merely flipped through the magazine each month and within a half-hour, had tossed it in the recycling bucket.  BHG just wasn't my cup of tea.

However, this time around, I'm pleasantly surprised with my subscription.  I still have neither home nor garden, but the recipes are really standing out.  I don't remember trying many of them during my previous subscription, but over the last few months you've published some great recipes.  The No-Knead Focaccia Tiles?  A big hit at a party.  The desserts in the February 2010 issue?  Well, I'm still working my way through them (I want to try almost all of them), but the Vanilla Sparkling-Wine Pound Cake was delicious, and the Chocolate Stack Loaf was a big hit with some chocoholic friends.

So I'm writing to say thanks.  Thanks for having a quality food section that's made me feel connected to the magazine. I've really grown to like your publication, and I hope you continue to keep up the good work.

Your pal,
Jill

Phil's on It!

Note to Readers:  Phil Rosenthal is the Chicago Tribune's "business of media" columnist.  He writes about some really interesting topics, which is one of the reasons I contacted him about the NBC "premium" video coverage.  He got back to me with lightning speed:

My guess is that the "premium content" on the site -- which is what NBCOlympics.com classifies that as -- is being subsidized by the "participating cable, satellite and IPTV providers," which is why a subscription is required. They're paying the freight, and they dangle this as a minor but exclusive value-added benefit of actually paying for their services.


But I have sent an inquiry to NBC. So if I get more details, I'll let you know.

phil

---
To NBC:
I'd totally pay for Olympic online content, if given the chance.  I wish you'd given me (and at least one of my Facebook friends who's now scrambling to get a digital converter box) the option to buy access too! 

----
And Phil got an answer quickly:
The answer to your original query is pretty much what I told you. The only thing I would add is that highlight packages are free of charge and free of requirement that you subscribe to cable, etc., and for most people and most events I would suspect that is plenty.

----
That's sad for us with (a) The Fever, and (b) no cable.  There's more of us out there than you might assume, NBC.
 
Your pal,
Jill

Reaching Out to the Local Experts

Dear Maureen Ryan and Phil Rosenthal,

Do either of you have any idea why NBCOlympics.com will allow you to watch full recaps of Olympic events only if you subscribe to cable TV? I don't have cable (too expensive), and for a variety of reasons, didn't get a digital converter box. I rely on the internet for most of my television watching.

Today, after spending the afternoon in a bar in order to catch some biathlon coverage, I tried to watch said biathlon event online (NBC barely showed any of it on TV; I wanted to see more of it). However, since I don't have cable, I can't watch.

Do you know why NBC decided to do this? I'm more than happy to watch ads in order to pay for online coverage--heck, I'd even subscribe to the website during the Olympics in order to have access. Why have they decided that users can't have access unless they have cable TV?

Thanks for your time--I enjoy reading both of your columns and appreciate your expertise.

Your pal,
Jill

Have Nots Screwed Again?

Dear NBC Universal,

I'm trying to watch a replay of the biathlon event online, but when I try to watch full events online, it tells me I have to log in to my cable provider. I don't have cable TV. Cable's pretty expensive. The recession hit my family pretty hard, and we don't have it. Heck, we didn't even get a converter box for the regular TV.

Today I went to a bar specifically because I wanted to watch the biathlon coverage. NBC's coverage was abysmal. The event wasn't that long to begin with, but NBC only showed a few minutes of it--not even enough to get a feel for what was actually happening. Meanwhile, there was plenty of time to get a "preview" of the moguls event.

So at home I tried to stream the full coverage, and found out that because I don't have cable, apparently I can't get access. Because I'm one of the 'have nots,' does that mean I'm stripped of my dream to watch the Olympics?

Please get back to me ASAP. The Olympics wait for no one.
Your pal,
Jill