Lazy Summer Days (Not Happening Here)

Dear Readers,

The number of times I've been posting here has been abominable to say the least. I have tons of excuses:

• No ideas 
• Feeling down
• Too busy wallowing to blog
• Roller derby's taking up my time
• Oh wait, I meant online mah-jongg's taking up my time
• Busy doing paid work (I realize you have to look at a lot of Google ads when you read this blog, but those don't pay the bills. I think I've racked up nearly $18 over the life of this blog)

Anyway, these excuses have to go. I've been wallowing way too much in, "How did that person get a book deal?" (while I don't work on the mess that is my novel -- remember that?  The rough draft that I finished in November?  Yeah) or, "How come I don't have more publishing credits?" (Answer: I don't put myself out there enough)

I don't quite know why I let myself get into these cycles, but it's not good because it's slowing me down. Watch for a lot of bad writing to hit this space (or maybe you should be the judge of that) -- I need to test out some creativity and get myself back into practice.

A few weeks ago, I wanted to write more about my trip to Las Vegas, but I didn't want to do it in a travelogue sort of way. I thought about it and came up with a piece that ended up being accepted by a really sweet outlet (it's not published yet, but when it is, you will definitely hear about it). I had such a good time writing it too -- sometimes when I feel like I'm really on with my writing, I feel totally giddy. I need to have that feeling more often because it's so satisfying to be able to work in a way that makes you feel great.

Anyway, enough with the bitching (for the umpteenth time), and on with the writing. I'm not promising any great shakes here, but I appreciate you being along for the ride!

Your pal,

Jill

P.S. -- Did you like the homage to titles with parentheses?

Jill's New Game

Dear Readers,

Sorry that I'm still seemingly MIA.  I've been working a lot this week -- I've got a new gig blogging for some trade publications about smart cards, NFC, RFID, identification technology, and other things of that vein. Don't ask me what exactly these things are--I'm going through this steep learning curve about the industry, and it's a very complicated, technical field.

I'm getting there though, but it's not without a fair amount of playing a game I like to call, "Is this English?" In this game, I read a story or a press release, and even though the words are apparently written in English, the content is so beyond me that it makes absolutely no sense (well, reading any press release is like this -- how people are content with putting out paragraphs of no content, oftentimes poorly written, is beyond me).  It's not the world's most exciting game because it hurts my head.  It's not fun when your own ineptitude causes your head to hurt.

Today I interviewed a really nice guy about digital certificates (don't know what they are? Um, they're um....yeah), and he said it was a complicated field and that you have to learn by osmosis.  Read something, put it aside, and when you reread it, things start to make a little more sense.  Unfortunately for me, I'm in the "read it 6 times before it makes sense" camp.  Hopefully by the end of summer it won't be quite that bad or take that long....I'd like to get back to blogging (or at least knowing what I'm complaining about).

Your pal,
Jill

Oh, Canada, Indeed!

Dear Canuck Rioters,

You need to turn in your Canadian cards right now. There's no way in hell you all are really Canadian.  Canadians don't riot!  Canadians don't send each other to the hospital!  Canadians don't loot!

Apparently this is not the first time you Canuck fans have done this, which is totally shocking.  Canadians on the whole are quite awesome, and this is not awesome Canadian behavior.  In fact, I'm surprised that Vancouver's hockey fans aren't called Canuckleheads.

Is your team losing the Stanley Cup really worth destroying a city?  Your country's image?  Other people's lives? Seriously--you're not even the ones playing the hockey game. Why are you getting so wrapped up in watching other people do stuff? Why don't you become the doers for a change--and then maybe when you get disappointed in the outcome, you won't take it out on your city, eh?

I realize you're not the face of all Canadians, but isn't it sad that you're ruining a good thing for everyone.

Your pal,
Jill

Growing Older, Not Getting Older

Dear Readers,

I've had a couple of assignments writing about senior citizens, Baby Boomers, and exercise.  Pair that with doing summer biathlons that are organized by a 75-year-old, and I've been thinking a lot about getting old.

I don't want to.

The research I've had to do for the exercise articles really makes me want to work out.  Exercise does all sorts of good things for you, like protecting your bones and helping you with balance.  After reading about exercise helping to combat falls more than a few times, I was sold.  The idea of falling and breaking a hip just does not appeal (not that it really appeals to anyone, but if being stronger gives me a better chance, well, then I'm doing another set of squats).

Finding out how old our biathlon organizer is was another wake-up call.  Dude's 75 and acts like he's in his early 60's, if not younger (the white hair ages him).  Every time we go to a biathlon, he talks about different shoots he wants to organize and different instructional schools he helps out with.  He just doesn't slow down.

I want that kind of life--one where I'm jetting off to the other side of the world in my 80's.  One where I'm 96 and contemplating giving up my driver's license.  One where I'm 105 and talking about my secret to longevity being regular walks, some light weightlifting, eating reasonable quantities of bacon, and enjoying my daily gin (or beer).  Doesn't that sound like the life?

Your pal,
Jill

Vegas, Baby.

Dear Readers,

I've fully recovered from my trip to Vegas over Memorial Day weekend.  Sadly, it wasn't because I had wild time--it's just that my flight out there was delayed, and instead of landing at 10PM local time, I got in around 4:30AM local time.

I flew from Boston to JFK where flights were delayed due to weather west of us (this was not long after the Joplin, MO, tornado, so needless to say, heavy weather was not something anyone wanted to deal with).  We got on the plane, we taxied a bit, but then we hit that FAA rule that says you can't be on the tarmac for more than three hours, so we headed back to the gate.  Waited some more.  Had to get more fuel.  Around 11:30 PM, we finally pushed off, and after a bit of taxiing, heard some words you never want to hear from your pilot:  We're 40th in line for take-off.

40th in line means you taxi for another hour.

I only got a couple of hours of real sleep that night, and acted like a zombie for a good chunk of the first morning.  Plus, like many conferences, you're so busy doing stuff, that you really don't get enough sleep the entire time you're there.  Having a bad start to the weekend didn't help.

The conference itself was great.  I learned a ton and met a lot of people.  Vegas, on the other hand, wasn't so great.  I know Vegas is supposed to be all cool and exciting, but it's really overwhelming, and if you don't really love Vegas--or you're with a group of people who don't really like Vegas--you're in a horrible place.  Enormous gaudy casinos.  Lights and noise.  Girls walking around in the shortest dresses you've ever seen.  Pools that don't stay open--I'm serious about this.  Our hotel's pool stayed open until either 7 or 8PM.  We saw pools that were closed by 6PM.  When you're at a conference, there's simply no time for hanging out by the pool, and when you can't participate in one of the major draws, it's a big letdown.

Instead, friends and I wandered around the Strip, gawking, and not gambling. Yeah, I didn't bother--even with the penny slots that were in our hotel.  The fear of losing what little money I did have outweighed the possibility of winning a couple of bucks.  I did spend crazy amounts of money on other things--I bought some bulk candy that was something like $12.99/pound -- I about fell over when my small bag cost over $9.  But then, I didn't have to learn the hard way that this same store sold $25 lollipops.

Cheap buffets?  Where?  My friends and I tried to go to the Wynn buffet because the vegan among us heard they had vegan options.  They did--but the buffet was $45.  No, thank you.  On our last day, we broke down and had the hotel buffet for lunch ($17).  The unlimited bubbly was a bonus, but I don't think there was enough of it to make me eat the worst bacon I've ever tasted in my life--and that's when you think that $17 was a little too much money for a buffet.

Needless to say, I don't feel the urge to go back anytime soon.  Not even on a hot day when I've got nothing to do but lounge by the pool--because at some point I'd still have to experience everything I don't like about Vegas.  In my book, what happens in Vegas can stay there--because it's not quite worth writing home about.  Or is it?  You tell me.

Your pal,
Jill

More Closet Cleaning

Dear Readers,

I remembered a couple more things hanging in my closet that I should get rid of:

1. Oprah.  Is the show over?  I think it's over--to you, perhaps.  Not to me.  I decided to DVR the last batch of new episodes, and boy, am I behind!  Oprah's going to live on in my book for a good 20+ epidsodes.  Then we can discuss.  Perhaps I'll get that done in June.
2. The newspaper delivery.  Believe it or not, I did not get my Sunday paper this week (I've put it on hold for 2 weeks), and nothing's shown up this week either.  Somebody finally got the message!  Have I talked to the local delivery manager?  Um, no--never heard from this person.  Apparently they've fixed the glitch though.  I am going through a little newspaper withdrawal, though I still have a Sunday magazine or two to flip through.  

Closet's definitely looking a little cleaner now.....

Your pal,

Jill

Actually Online

Dear Readers,

In the unknown amount of time I have on my home internet connection today, I'd like to, in the words of the great Jen "Flash" Andrews, "clean out my closet" a little bit.

1. My lousy internet connection.  I never got a chance to send my choice words to Verizon because my connection went out again.  We got our new set of filters late Monday, and everything was going swimmingly....until Tuesday morning, when our connection was down again.  I spent a nice chunk of time on the phone with Verizon, and we couldn't get it to work, even if just the modem cable was plugged directly into the phone jack.  Something is obviously really wrong, so a technician needs to come out--but no one's available until tomorrow morning (and Thursday is really not a good day for me to have a repairman at my house, since I'll be heading to Las Vegas for the WFTDA Conference).  After I hung up with Verizon, I tried the connection one more time, and it worked (of course)---for all of 3 hours, and then I was kicked off without warning.  No more internet for us...until this morning.  When I went to check on our connection, it was back.  I assume it will go away again at some point in the near future.  
2. What I can't do online is download podcasts AND surf the web at the same time.  Downloads really suck all the bandwidth.  Forget trying to watch a video.  And a typical 1 hour podcast takes a long time to load--probably a good 15 minutes.  I mean, I'm trying to download a podcast now, and it's saying about 40 minutes.  That's not quite accurate, but you get the picture.  If I'm trying to download more than one, watch out!  There's nothing quite as scary as seeing "8 hours" when you're trying to download a 55 MB file.  It's as if I'm on a dial-up 28.8 modem.  Anyway, I'm running low on my podcasts and I need to stock up.  It'd be nice to do that before I leave.
3. Cleaning house.  Since I have the Verizon guy coming over tomorrow, I have to clean up my office, which frankly, hasn't seen a duster or a broom in months.  This will not be pleasant.  I also have stacks of books all over the place, since one of my bookshelves is starting to pull out of a wall.  Magazines have also apparently come here to die, though I like to call them my "sample issue collection." So what if they're in piles, right?  They're research!
4. Vegas!  Yep, I'm heading to Las Vegas for my first WFTDA Conference.  I'm excited to see old friends, make new ones, and talk roller derby for a weekend.  I haven't been to Vegas since 1993, and I've heard it's changed a little bit.  I don't know what I'm in for, but I hope it'll be a good time.

That's about it from here....it's been quite the week in terms of not being able to work, and I'm getting tired of that frustration.  Hopefully next week will be a bit easier.

Your pal,

Jill

"Customer Care" of a Certain Kind

Dear Readers,

I don't mean to get all, "I'm irritated by customer service representatives" on you.....oh, wait.  I guess I do.

Today, for some strange reason, my wireless connection stopped working.  I reset the modem, I restarted my computer....nothing helped.  Sigh.  Time to call Verizon customer service.

Now mind you, I've been in a decent mood lately, especially when dealing with customer service reps, retail clerks, etc. When I talked to the Boston Globe today about my delivery problems (which, to me are really dumb.  You generally complain because you don't get your paper.  I've got to complain because I am), I was nice and peppy, asking to give my delivery person a little "come to Jesus" moment but trying to be really nice about it.  The local delivery manager is supposed to call me within the next couple of days to discuss my situation.  I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, back to Verizon.  Once my problem was solved, I received a little popup survey asking for feedback on my experience....except I didn't complete the survey within their 20 minute window, so I haven't sent it to them.  Yet.  Much more fun to tell you first.  So, for your enjoyment, here's my additional feedback on today's Verizon experience:

The customer support person did solve my problems as quickly as possible, but boy, was he a bit snippy with me.  I'm sorry that I don't know what a filter looks like or get confused because my phone line has two splitters and one filter.  I'm sorry that I didn't have my modem password at the ready or can remember how my modem was initially set up 13 months ago.  Don't sound irritated because I have to open up my bill file to try to locate my modem password.  Don't sound irritated because I'm describing something as "the long rectangle."  If I'm describing the filter (I think) as that, it also means that I'm not going to automatically know that "plugging the modem directly to my computer" means "use the 'PC/ethernet' plug" because I'm using a Mac, and Microsoft's responsible for me thinking that "PC" = "Windows," not "personal computer."  

I don't know whether to continue to apologize or relish in the fact that I was probably "moron of the day" for this tech support person.  If it's the latter, please tell him that I look forward to receiving my certificate of achievement.

And that's how I feel about this experience. 

Don't worry--I'll send this to Verizon too. If there's a certificate to be had out of this deal, I want to get my paws on it!  Seriously -- an official "Moron of the Day" certificate would come in so handy!  Whenever the Boy feels I'm doing something dumb, I can just whip it out--and instant excuse!

Somehow though, I don't think that awesomeness is coming my way.  I'll manage somehow.

Your pal,
Jill